The King is highly disappointed with his foreign minister, who has no flair for the grand lies that will keep up appearances with the other kings of the land. In order to locate a better liar for the position, the King decides to hold a lying contest–the person who can tell the best lie will become the new foreign minister. Meanwhile, Peter Piper, from a place called Poppycock with a pittance of a population, has decided to seek his fortune. He’s a pauper, you know. In order to perform a good deed for an unusual woman he meets, he must find (among other things) a flower that blooms in the winter solstice, a newborn lamb with two clefts in its right front hoof, and an answer to a riddle for a leprechaun. All we can say about this madrigal dinner is that truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.
Cast size: 4 Male, 3 Female, 3 M/F
Audience interaction: 
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SAMPLE PAGES:
BARD: Anyway . . . the heralds journeyed to every city, town, village, parish, hamlet, and beeflet to spread the news of the lying contest. That is, every city, town, village, parish, hamlet, and beeflet EXCEPT the teeny-tiny place called Poppycock. Which isn’t really surprising when you consider that the entire population of Poppycock consisted of a boy, his widowed mother, their nearly starved cow, two gerbils, and a dung beetle.
JESTER: A dung beetle?
BARD: Family pet. Easy to feed.
JESTER: The gerbils?
BARD: The plowing had to be done somehow. Anyway, the son, Peter Piper, was pretty poor.
JESTER: And his mother’s name?
BARD: Patty is his parent.
JESTER: The cow?
BARD: Pippi was the only cow, so of course she was pampered.
JESTER: Couldn’t see that one coming. The dung beetle?
BARD: Prince Precipitous.
JESTER: That’s a lot of name for a little bug.
BARD: Dung beetles insist on formality to preserve their dignity.
JESTER: I see. That’s a bit preposterous. So let me see if I’ve got this straight. The place of Poppycock is populated by pretty poor Peter Piper, Peter’s parent Patty Piper, pampered Pippi, and the preposterous Prince Precipitous. Oh, I almost forgot. What are the gerbils’ names?
BARD: Horace and Gertrude.
JESTER: (Long pause.) Ah. I see.
