The plot begins as Arthur, trying to shoot a fast buck, is accused of poaching by the Black Knight. He attacks the King and, even though Arthur defends himself valiantly with a rubber chicken, defeats Arthur. In order to keep his kingdom, Arthur must answer a riddle: what do women most desire? A Hag can provide the answer, but only if Arthur can find a knight to marry her. Sir Gawain, an impetuous young knight, volunteers to defend the King’s honor before he meets his bride-to-be. The test is: will Gawain be true to his word? This script is full of puns, laughter, and audience interaction. And only the answer to another riddle will keep everyone living happily ever-after.
Cast size: 4 Male, 5 Female
Audience interaction: 
Note: Available only through Pioneer Drama Service: www.pioneerdrama.com
SAMPLE PAGES:
JESTER: Back in the mists of time, King Arthur and his court were spending Christmastide at Carlisle Castle. One morning while hunting, the king had pursued a young stag, but when the trail became cold, (ENTER KING ARTHUR.) he realized that he had been separated from his companions, in a part of the wood he did not know. He spied an ominous shape in the distance, a shape that filled him with foreboding. As he watched, it came closer. (BLACK KNIGHT ENTERS from behind JESTER. Creepy is a good effect.) It was a man . . . covered in black from head to toe. A man so terrifying, that he would make even the bravest of men shake in their boots, small children scream, and women faint. (BLACK KNIGHT now stands behind the JESTER. JESTER becomes aware of this invasion of personal body space. JESTER looks at BLACK KNIGHT, shakes in his boots, and screams.)
BLACK KNIGHT: So, you’ve shaken in your boots and screamed. Haven’t you forgotten something?
JESTER: Oh, yeah. The fainting bit. (He faints.)
BLACK KNIGHT: (Steps over JESTER.) Arthur of Camelot! King of this realm! Do you not have lands enough for hunting that you must poach on mine?
ARTHUR: Such was not my intent, I assure you.
BLACK KNIGHT: Intent matters not. You have trespassed and must pay the penalty. I challenge you to fight and defend your crown!
ARTHUR: (ARTHUR reaches for his scabbard, then realizes that his sword is not with him.) I do not have my sword, sir knight. Surely I cannot fight you unarmed.
BLACK KNIGHT: Then use one of mine. (BLACK KNIGHT tosses a dagger to ARTHUR. ARTHUR pauses, picks up the dagger, and looks at BLACK KNIGHT.)
ARTHUR: What? You call this a sword?
BLACK KNIGHT: I am called the “Black Knight,” not the “Fair Knight.” (Pauses.) Come now, is this the famed King Arthur of Camelot?
ARTHUR: (To the audience, in a mocking tone.) “Is this the famed King Arthur?” I get soooo tired of having that thrown in my face. (To BLACK KNIGHT.) Right, then. Prepare to defend yourself. (ARTHUR steels himself, and the duel begins. ARTHUR utilizes props from the forest scene and from JESTER’S bag, such as a branch, frying pan, antler, rubber chicken, etc. At some point, ARTHUR falls, and the BLACK KNIGHT holds a sword to his throat. BLACK KNIGHT pauses to consider.)
BLACK KNIGHT: (Thinking.) Perhaps, this was a tad bit unfair. Besides, it would not do to kill you so quickly. Instead, I propose a challenge–a riddle! One chance to save your kingdom, and your life. Three days hence, I charge you to return to this spot. If you can answer this riddle, your life will be spared. The question is, “What do women want? What do they most desire?” Will you answer this question or meet your death?
ARTHUR: (Long pause.) Are we talking a quick death? (BLACK KNIGHT looks confused.) Oh, surely you do not believe that any man can answer that question?
BLACK KNIGHT: Is this the great Arthur? Famed for his prowess and courage? Does your courage fail you now?
ARTHUR: (To himself.) “Is this the famed Arthur?” If I had a shilling every time someone said that to me! (Gets up, wipes off his pants and hands.) My courage does not fail me. My understanding of women? Well, that’s another matter. (BLACK KNIGHT looks at him, unmoved.) Fine! You’re right. You think there’s an answer to this question? All right. I’ve got three days. Surely, someone will know the answer.
